Navigating this life with a mind full of duality.

My thoughts pull and tear at one another. Arguing within and confusing one another with opposing desires.

Searching for peace and finding only thoughts that don’t match up.

Hating this life that I love so much and loving this life that I can’t take one more minute of.

Wanting love and companionship and never wanting to have it ever again. To want a simple life and desiring to travel the world.

Oh, how I desire to be alone! And yet I want to be with others always. I seek close relationships and thrive in casual ones.

I can’t stop moving and I desire to be lazy and never work or do again.

Just being within can cause an exhaustion that depletes me and leaves me without the ability to get up in the morning. And yet, I always get up. A dual existence in all things that never allows for clear direction when all I seek is clear direction.

Tired of the selfishness in my heart and yet desiring to finally think of myself, for maybe the first time in my life!

So much love to give, and no love left to give.

Caring so deeply and the desire to never care again.

There is no conclusion.

Only Conundrum.