I sit here in a room. The walls are closing in. So slowly it’s hard to even see it, but I can feel it. The oxygen is getting thin and my chest is beginning to cave in.

The only way to keep these walls from caving in is to walk out of this room alone. Every time I invite someone with me, I find myself back here. To be here alone is unbearable and yet to be out there alone among the world is just a different kind of nightmare.

When will I be able to walk with another and remain outside this room!

I gave myself to you today. In a way that left me vulnerable. I shared myself with you in a way that brought up my insecurities. And then I didn’t hear from you. And here I sit. In a room with walls closing in and the oxygen so thin I can barely breathe.

Just when I think I see myself and love the person I am. I begin to give my heart away and it all slips back in. Did I ever heal? I do not know. Was I fooling myself to believe it was true?

I sit, with my chest caving in. I breathe and I wonder, and I sit and I stare, and now I write. But I will wait, and I hope that with the rising of the sun, so will rise my security once again. I will walk out of this room, alone, with a fresh new day ahead.

My head held high and a smile on my face.