I thought I wanted you,
So I changed.
This part of me that I learned you didn’t like, I threw it away.
That’s not me anyways.
Until one day,
Something was tearing at me from inside.
Hmm, must be something I ate today?
Ugh, must be that asshole that cut me off on the road.
Shit, must be something screwed up inside my head.
Damn, maybe it was something you said?
Oh no, you’re right, it’s me. Something is so wrong with me.
I’ll change for you! Don’t worry!
I’m aching. God it must be because there is something broken!
Help me.
It can’t be you, this is perfect, isn’t it?
It looks like I have been told it should!
Clearly it’s me, something wrong with me…
God dammit.
One day I noticed something,
Did I put me away?
Was I made to be blind?
Is it that hard to find?
These burning desires.
I broke myself to fit you, the pieces didn’t match.
Don’t you dare.
I don’t care,
what you want.
This is your life, deal with it.
Those things don’t matter anyways,
The core of who you are?
Hah! It never mattered, now you’re going to far!
You’re here to stay! Don’t you sway! You’re not going away!!
The only person that can’t get it together is you!
Look at these people, their so happy Meg!
Their masks start to crack,
The world starts to crumble.
A forced illusion had captivated me.
Rose colored glasses now starting to fumble.
I rip it all apart and now I can see.
I thought I could put me away,
But always lingered like I was going astray.
Everyone is broken and on the fray.
Unraveling like a thread
Deflecting, inducing guilt in your head.
The world with its visions of what we should be,
As a contributing member of a “functional” society.
Inside of me is screaming, inside is a war.
If I ignore it any longer, I won’t be,
Anymore.
-Meaghan Katelyn